What is your funniest childhood memory?

It wasn't funny back then because it was serious stuff to a kid. But looking back on it now . . . it's pretty damned funny. See, before I figured out my father the "great general" was a complete and total jerk, I dreamed about following in his footsteps. I mean, what son doesn't, right? I was going to be a great warrior, just like dear old dad, and lead armies into battle. A group of kids in the village would get together and play war in the afternoons after chores. We staged all sorts of mock battles. Trojans against the Spartans. That sort of thing. Sometimes even gods against gods. When I wasn't playing general, I wanted to be Ares. After all, he was what helped make my father such a great general. I used to imagine Ares sitting on Olympus looking down on six-year-old me and saying, "Hey, that kid's got talent! He's gonna be a great general, just like his dad!"

To play Ares, I'd put on all the old, battered, cast aside pieces of my father's armor I could find laying around the house. Didn't matter to me if it matched or not. Or if it fit. I remember there was this helmet so big the eye holes came down to my chin. I couldn't see a thing and bumped into a lot of trees. I was a scrawny little blonde kid pretending to be a great warrior. But I was more of a court jester in that get up than anything. Not a very dignified Ares.

The funny thing about that, looking back now, is that I did become a great warrior. Without having anything to do with Ares or his bloodlust. I was a little kid mocking Ares with the best of intentions. Now I do it on purpose.